Self-esteem is a buzzword today, one that’s bandied around a lot by the media and one that is very confusing for teenage girls – they think they should have it, but they’re unsure of how to get it. Self-esteem involves thinking, feeling and behaving in ways that reflect an inner ability to accept, respect, trust and believe in yourself. For most of us, this is a learnt behaviour.

And so it is for your daughters who are only just discovering the meaning of self-esteem. Almost every day girls are faced with a challenge to their sense of self from the people and the society they live in. Perhaps one of the most amazing things to emerge from the Survey, the Forum and the girls own reponses is, that despite images of air-brushed celebrities and the complexities of friendships, most girls do come out feeling pretty OK about themselves.

One of the most inspiring parts of working with GirlForce has been discovering that this is a generation of strong, motivated, clear, compassionate and brave girls. These girls want to make a difference to themselves, their peers and the world and it’s my belief that with the right skills from parents, schools and other institutions they may indeed change the world.

Alexandria 12 NSW
I feel my looks are average. I don’t put myself down because I don’t look like a celebrity, nor do I say I am ugly. My friends are a great influence in my life, telling me not to worry too much about boys and the way I look, its what inside that counts and the special boy who will find will realize these things. Yet most of the time, they don’t realize they are being hypocrites saying not to worry but they do themselves. But in the end, it turns out to be advice that I use to guide myself with, following the light of my friends. I am pretty scared, only being a teenager almost, about what happens, peer pressure, kissing boys, the way I look & going out with guys, but then feeling uncomfortable with who I am with.. Its pretty daunting, but I guess I have to bring it on like life itself.. New challenges appear, but hopefully I face them... with ease..xoxoxox

Emza 13 TAS
I have written how I feel about myself in a poem:

I'll start with my body because I have lots to say,
I've got to much extra hair and pimples, I wish they went away.
If I could change two things it would be my boobs and my extra hair,
My boobs would be smaller and my skin would be bare.
Now my friends are awesome and they're great,
If I need advice I’ll call my best mate!
For years I’ve had problems with people from school,
But that's only because they think they're cool.
I'm happy with my relationship with my family at home,
Just a few arguments in that family tone.
Well that's pretty much all I have got to say,
But I would be happier if the extra hair went away.

Anonymous 14 SA
I wish so hard that I would be in my own fairytale and the hottest guy would ask me out, but I know that will never happen when I’m fat, ugly and have stretch marks. I just don’t know how to handle it sometimes. I hate crying in front of my family and sometimes when I am in the shower I ball my eyes out because I know what I’m going to be faced with when I get out. I feel so messed up sometimes.

Danielle 15 VIC
I love everything about my life! I really wouldn’t change a thing. I have an awesome family and a great group of friends. I’m pretty much happy with my body but wouldn’t change a thing, it's part of who I am. I love being this age so much that quite often I sit there thinking "I wish I could stay this age forever".

Anonymous 17 SA
I think the most important thing for a teenage girl nowadays is confidence...we need to know that celebrities look good because that’s their job...our job as teenagers is to have fun, say "So what?" to everything and aim for a successful future! I used to have no confidence and I actually believed what people said about me...my mum helped me out and showed me I’m a beautiful person on the inside and my appearance doesn’t matter...therefore, confidence is all u need girls...and by the way...guys find that sexy!

Nik 13
Right now all I’m trying to do is stay strong and just be the best person that I can be and if someone doesn’t like the way that I am then let them not like me. I mean everyone can’t like you.

Alexi 13 NSW
Ever since I can remember, I've been a 'big girl' according to the world. People compare me to others, but I try not to compare myself. Other girls my age tease and taunt me, and because of that I had to change high school. I am going to regular counselling sessions and participating in extra-curricular activities. My confidence is increasing thanks to this. Life is difficult for a girl my age, but I know what I want, and I don't think it is too much to ask: a good education, good friends, a healthy relationship with my family and a chance to be accepted. Sure, one day I might want this cool new outfit or that really pink lippy I've been eyeing off, but my main goal is just to get through my teenage years with a little bit off grace.

Maree 17 QLD
I don't like myself. I don't like myself at all. I HATE everything about myself. ALL my friends are real pretty. Whenever we are out, it doesn't matter where, guys are always staring at them. I feel fat, ugly, stupid and dumb. All my friends have guy 'stories' yet I have none. I am not a confident person. I put myself down constantly. I don't know why? I do compare myself to my friends, my family, random people that I see down the street, everybody. I have hardly any friends. I am unhappy. People don't like me and I find myself not liking myself. I just want to be happy, yet I somehow don't know how to be.

Anonymous 18 QLD
My saying is "Yesterday is HISTORY, Tomorrow is MYSTERY, Today is a GIFT."

Anonymous 15 WA
I think sometimes I make out like my life is a lot harder than it really is. But then I realise that you can't change who you are and you can't pretend to be something you're not. Each day I'm accepting myself more and more and I can only keep growing.

Anonymous 18
Sometimes I feel so trapped, I feel I can't breathe, it all gets too much for me and I just want to go somewhere else and be alone. I have the best grades at school, I’m smart, moderately pretty, funny, caring, but why do I feel something is missing?

Ravelle 14 NSW
I have the same typical problems as any teenage girl: that guy who never notices you, that massive zit on your chin and the controlling, nagging mother. But aside from these unavoidable problems, life is ultimately good. I am more than happy with my body and I have friends and family that I love. Everybody has problems chucked at them during life; we get through them so we can enjoy the good bits. And trust me, there are plenty of good bits!!!

Mischa 16 WA
I feel pretty good with my looks! Im not stuck-up, I just love everything about my self. Why should I change the way I'm meant to be?

Jacqui 14 VIC
DREAM I lay in bed awake, sometimes crying, sometimes thinking I hear the wind outside, howling. And thank God I'm not out there. I finally drift into an uneasy sleep Dreaming Dreaming of smashed windows, parents fighting, of winged creatures flying steadily into the night, of rugged deserts, windswept beaches. I dream of the day where all I'll be is a dark silhouette gliding over the Earth and through trees!

Anonymous 18 NSW
I live by the saying "Your body is a temple..." It encourages me not to include bad habits into my system such as smoking and bad food choices. I think us girls all need to find that inner core which gives us harmony and balance inside.

Joanne 13 WA
I am fairly happy with my body and my life, but there is so much pressure today to be perfect (which nobody is) skinny (which many people want to be), pretty (which even the pretty people want to be more), have 10 tonnes of friends (who aren’t really friends) and to have a popular and hot boyfriends. Why cant the pressure stop?

Emma 15 SA
Everyone is judgemental! Even you and me! You can't just go around saying you’re not shallow then when you look at obese people think "Oh My God!" Yes, you may not say it, but you still think it and that is still being judgemental! And what really makes me angry is when people speak what is on their mind without thinking how much it hurts others! So, think before you act!

Lauren 14 QLD
Since the beginning of time, women have been riddled with stereotypical views of their bodies, weight and appearance. Now that we have won the vote, is it not time to win the right to be who we really want to be without social prejudice working against us??!!!!!

Jennifer 14 NSW
Being a girl in the 21st century involves much more than lipgloss and stilettos, you must be committed to changing the world, everyday.

Belinda 14 NSW
Be yourself because that's the best person you can be! Never go changing because you think your not cool/hot/pretty enough.. you're born an original.. don't die a copy.

Cherry 14 SA
I wanna change and from this weekend onwards im gonna be my self and have some confidence because if people don’t like me they way I am it's their loss not mine!

Anonymous 14 QLD
I feel fat. I mean I exercise 2 - 3 times a day and only eat dinner never anything else. My friends pressure me to eat; I get picked on at school by the idiots that sit at the back of the school bus. I weigh 55kgs and I am 14. I don’t know if that is the normal weight but I know that I have fat legs and I am very self aware of my looks. I cant just go and sun bake on the beach when I feel like it. When I eat I sometimes throw it back up to loose weight faster. At school I feel pressured by the girls because they are all beautiful and skinny and they look at me like I am some beast. I just want to die sometimes.

Chrissy 14 SA
If u wanna skip down the school hall way do it! I do! I don’t worry about wot ppl think, if they don’t like me 4 who I am then stuff them. I don’t need friends like them any way. So get out there and be ya self! luv ya'll x x x x

Anonymous 15 TAS
I think of life like it’s made up of seasons. When I am deeply upset it is a winter day and that makes me think, well it’s all right, because summer is coming. There is always something to look forward to.

Jessica 14 NSW
We should always be ourselves. If we're not then who knows how many people will miss out on getting to know who you really are? Who knows how many lives you could make a difference in? Who knows how many more friends could be made or how many friendships kept? Who knows how many lives could be saved? We are who we are for a reason. We should never try to be some one or something other than what is truly in their personality!

M.J. 13 WA
Being an Individual is important. Like Kurt Cobain said "I would rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not".

Anonymous 14 NSW
Dance like nobody is watching and remember that you are the best at being yourself.

Anonymous 13 WA
I look really bad and all my friends are lovely and pretty and I’m ugly and there s nothing I can do to change it my family has fallen apart and I’m in the middle!

Chelsea 17 Canada
"When you see a women who can go nowhere without a staff of admirers, it is not so much because they think she is beautiful, it is because she has told them they are handsome."- Jean Giraudoux. Love others and they will love you.

Brooke 16 SA
You are perfect in someone's eyes, it may not be yours (yet) but somebody loves you the way you are.

Anonymous 13 QLD
Be an individual in the mind, body, and heart. Affirmations help as well. It keeps my confidence up if I have a day spa at home- bubble bath, pedicure, and manicure e.t.c. And go for an early morning jog. I also say many positive affirmations every morning and always feel great!

Victoria 15 WA
Ever since I was little I've been bigger then everyone else. I use to get teased about my weight all the time which made me depressed and suicidal. Now that I am older I’ve realised that weight isn’t everything. I am still not happy with my body but I am happy with how I look and who I am inside. My mum has been a great help and I urge everyone who is going through what I have been through to talk to someone it doesn’t have to be your mum but you should let someone know how you feel because everyone is beautiful even if you cant see it yourself.

Anonymous 13 VIC
Whether it's sport or music or a hobby I think that people should have something where they can take a few moments out of their day to just feel at peace with themself and find self acceptance with their appearance and that they are a good person.

Julie-Jay 14 QLD
It's completely normal to feel a bit self-conscious about your looks, your personality, everything. I say get yourself to a healthy stage where you're happy with at least a few things your happy with about yourself, and if you can't find anything you're obviously not looking! That's how I stay confident in myself – I’ve realised my good points and now I’m just living life! And stay true to yourself!

Michelle 14 QLD
I don’t like my face, it is covered in acne prone s**t, I guess my weight and my height are ok. I’m having one hell year, I’ve lost nearly all of my friends because of break-ups with my boyfriends, and I have hardly anyone left to talk to.....they pay me out so bad about my acne prone skin and me getting dumped by my bfs, me fat etc and just me being a loner.....and I’m not happy in the family I’m in....my dad hits me, he can’t control his anger EVER, both mum n dad insult me all the time telling me to lose weight, and calling me a b**ch, slut, selfish, immature, fat etc :( yeah..... This has happened often in the other years too, so I haven’t really had a happy life...

Kris 13 WA
I think everyone should focus on their good points, and not draw attention to what you hate. Remember: If you don't point it out, no one will notice!

Lucy 15 – N.S.W
Be urself n say wat u want, cause those who mind don’t matta. and those who matta don’t mind

Sammy 14 QLD
Hello, my name is Sammy and I suffer from depression, for about 8 months I have been cutting on a regular basis and been depressed. I have been fighting with my parents, my friends have been fighting and I’m in the middle of it, I’m scared I’m going to loose my friends. Now about my self-esteem and boys, I have very low self-esteem and feel like I’m not good enough for boys. I really want a boyfriend but the guys I seem to like don’t like me in that way, and we are only friends. My friends are great and I love them all. They have been there for me though depression and everything, I know I always have a place to go. My parents do not know about my depression and I have never got help.

Anonymous 13 NSW
Everyone wants to be perfect. But no-one is. Not even that, gorgeous, blonde, tall, super skinny, athletic, rich, popular, boy catcher is perfect. The most important thing is trying as hard as you can to be the best person you can be. And if that persons not perfect, who cares! At least you will know you tried.

Dearne 17 QLD
I believe in the saying that true beauty comes from the inside. Have you ever noticed that a genuine smile lights up a person's eyes? Or that they appear to just positively glow from the inside? Beautiful people are not those whose appearances are pleasing to the eye, but people who are beauty-full - those who with a kind heart and a beautiful personality. Make-up doesn't give you this - this kind of beauty comes from the inside only. True beauty cannot be made, but is something that can be learned

Melanie 16 NSW
Life is short don't let things go, take a chance. What you feel you create, what you see you attract, what you imagine you become.

Danielle 15 NSW
Our happiness comes from within.