73% of all girls who took part in the survey said they were happy with the relationship they have with their parents.

The good news is that most girls feel they have a good relationship with their families. Nearly 3-out-of-4 girls said they were happy with the relationship they had with their parents.  Amazing!  And when we asked whether they could talk to their parents about anything, I was very surprised that 59% responded positively to this question.  For most parents that must be good and surprising news.

What we know from our work with the GirlForce weekly on-line Forum and from the 7,000 written responses from the GirlForce/Girlfriend Survey is that for many girls their families represent a safe harbour into which they can sail when things get tough.  Importantly, the point seems to be that the family is a safe harbour that's behind them; a place they don't think about often, but one they value very privately and very highly.

The great stock the girls place in their family is shown most clearly when the family situation is challenging.  The girls retreat, get depressed and often take it as a sign that they have either done something wrong, or that there is something intrinsically wrong with them. When girls have a poor relationship with one or both of their parents it tends to impact them deeply and weigh heavily on them.  It's often that the girls on the GirlForce Forum will ask how to improve a relationship with a parent.

The other thing to note about our survey responses, and is reflected in my Forum discussions with the girls, is that girls who have happy relationships with their parents and family don’t necessarily talk about it much.  It’s generally when there are problems that girls choose to write or talk about their family dynamics  - so do keep this in mind when reading the following quotes because many are from girls who are challenged by their family relationships.

So, to start off the Family quotes on a more representative foot, I've decided to begin with quotes from a competition we recently ran on the GirlForce website together with Girlfriend Magazine.  We asked the girls in 40-words-or-less to tell us about the most important thing in their lives. It was interesting to discover that the most popular answer by far to that question was their families – most particularly their Mums.

Aimee 15 QLD
The most important thing to me is…MY family, even though its a little mixed up and sometimes I pretend I don’t know them....they are always there for me when it matters the most..and I always want to be there for them.

Catherine 18 NSW
There to keep me grounded.. there to lift me up. Communication without words. Belief without hesitation. I live for her to be proud because she wants ME to be proud of myself. mum; appreciation, admiration, inspiration; Its all to you.

Angela 13 VIC
The most important thing to me is…My wonderful family and the body that I have. I feel so priviliged to be blessed with support and love which ever road I pick when I make decisions.

Zoe 14 TAS
The most important thing to me is…Everyone around me! all the people I meet everyday and the ones I already know, all contribute to my life! Whether they're my fantastic mum or my bestie, or even those girls who yell out stuff as I walk past, they all make me the person I am!

Fiona 15 NSW
The most important thing in my life is my mum. She’s a single mother and she doesn't speak much English so I have to explain lots of things to her. We don't always get along but we try. She’s had a hard life and she’s always trying to make mine easier.

Alli 13 NSW
The most important thing to me is…My Mother's Wallet. It is the source of all goodness and fun!! When she opens it that is!

Alexia 13 SA
The things important in my life are the things I love .. my friends & family, walking along the beach, snuggling up on a cold winter day, catching the train to the city, photo booths, sleepovers & most importantly being me!

Michelle 18 NSW
The most important thing in my life is my Dad as he supports and nourishes me, drives me to school and TAFE and is genuinely interested in how I am coping with the rigors of Year 12 and the HSC.

Abbie 15 QLD
The most important thing to me is…Mum, as she is my dad and mum. Because when I was 5 dad passed away, and mum bought my brother and I up on her own. She has made our lives what they are today. Which I’m grateful for.

Comments from the survey….

Anonymous 14 VIC
I feel so bad that I didn't put my family in the top 3 most important things in my life but it's the truth. All my girlfriends have great relationships with their mums but mine is so old fashioned it's hard to talk about anything with her. I feel closer to my bestfriends mum then I do my own. My parents are so so strict so it's hard to have a social life. Since they don’t let me go anywhere or do anything I have to resort to sneaking out and lying to their faces about what I’ll be doing at a friends place. I was in the popular group in year seven and now thanks to my parents I stopped hanging out with them because they would always chat about what they did on the weekend and what parties they went to and I’d be left out of conversation because I wasn’t there, I was home watching movies with my mum. It's not that I hate my family its just that they don’t understand me.

Tess 15 VIC
Do you realise how many times you say, omg (oh my god!) my parents are so annoying or they wont let me do this or that. When you think bout it, they are only looking out for you and your family are the people who will always be there for you. So next time you think about bitching about your parents or are having a fight with them, stop because it might be the last thing you ever say to them and then you will have an awful concience (I cant spell) Trust me I know. Another thing is, I know I’m not totally happy with my body but there are so many more important things in your life. You should never change yourself for anyone even though they are your so called friend. You are who you are and you aren’t perfect but then again no is and no one ever will be. Luv Tess xoxo :)

Rachel 14 VIC
I feel that the majority of stress I experience comes from family pressuring me to become successful. I do want to be successful, in life, love and work, but my parents push me to be somebody I’m not.

Jaimi 14 QLD
Adults need to know that things have changed since they were teenagers, I know its no excuse for poor behaviour, but we have SO much to deal with! Drugs, Alcohol, Sex, Boys, Studies! They had it pretty easy, we have so many things to look out for in today's society. I dont feel safe walking my dog down the street for fear of passing men following through on their comments towards me! What has the world come to?

Anonymous 14 WA
I feel good about my body. I would like 2 put on a bit of weight though but I don’t really mind. I don’t feel pressured to look like everyone else I like 2 have my own style. I don’t really care what people think of me. I have a great relationship with my parents. We are very close and 4we can talk to each other about anything. 1 goal I would like 2 achieve in life is i want to become a paediatric nurse and i want to hopefully get married. I haven't had my 1st boyfriend yet and I’m not really looking id rather concentrate on my studies, work and going out with my friends and family.

Jessi 13 VIC
A couple of months ago my mum died my hair but it went wrong and turned orange. Now at school everyone calls me names because of my hair. They don’t understand how much it really hurts. It makes me feel ugly and my self esteem is very low.

Sarah 14 QLD
I only have one parent and that’s my mum and she’s my best friend. I talk to her about everything and she knows everything about me. I get stressed at home because I have had two dads and they both left us and it's like now I'm a bit scared to get too close to a boy because If I were to marry him, then I don't want him to leave like my dads did to my mum and I hate that. I am very strong though and I fight this stuff off with my mum. I am also very close to God and that’s what keeps me going and I think that if I was in any other family and I didn't know God, then I would be doing a lot of bad stuff today and so I’m thankful to my sisters, my brother and my mum.

Anonymous 13 NSW
Hey, I am a girl who is tired of being teased about my weight by people and family. Can you please help me? Can you tell me a way of losing weight because I want to make my mother happy. She always put pressure on my about my weight. She always says to never compare my self to others and she's the one comparing my weight and my body with other family members because they are skinnier than me I HATE IT!! So plese tell me a way I can lose weight and to handle the pressure of my own family member please I am dying of my mother's bragging. I'M SICK OF IT!!!!!

Ef 16 QLD
As much as I may feel like certain parts of my body or looks need improvement, I'm pretty happy with what I've got and don't often whinge or complain to people. I love my mum; we do and always will have a special relationship no matter what happens and I cannot bare the thought of losing her. Even though my [older] brother and I don't talk much (he keeps to himself, unlike me) I love him just as much for being there for my mum and I. Right now, I am sooo sick of school (I'm in year 11) but i grin and bear it because I know it is setting me up for a better future.

Michelle 13 NSW
My family environment isn’t too good and sometimes causes me to skip classes at school. I don’t really have a good relationship with my dad nor with my mother.. they say I can speak to them About ANYTHING but that anything isn’t anything.. the “anything” they don’t like is the fact that I like boys.. they think I’m a baby and won’t let me have a boyfriend.. without approval. I love my friends its like when ever I need somebody to talk to bout boys n family they are there for me.

Jessica 14 NSW
I have great friends and I love them but most of my problems come with my looks and Nanna and Auntie. They put lots of pressure on me to lose weight and look a certain way. I even had to sit down and tell them what they were saying wasn’t nice and to tell them to stop but it didn't help. I hope they would leave my weight and looks alone and accept me for who I AM!!

Anita 16 NSW
I feel happy about my self. I’m not the normal size 8 skinny and gorgeous, but I’m not scared to go out in public. I’m proud of what I look like, I’m healthy, I have good friends and good family - everyone likes me for who I am not what I look like. Other peoples comments don’t affect my self esteem because at the end of the day I’m the one that has to feel comfortable with myself. Life is great for me at the moment. I’m proud of what I look like and who I am being healthy and having a good family is my main priority.

Stella 13 Vic
I don’t have very high self-esteem because I don’t have a very happy home life. My parents don’t abuse me or anything its just that they are always disappointed in me. They love my elder sister and brother but they treat me like I am nothing compared to my siblings.

Helena 13 NSW
I am happy with the way I look but I don’t like the size of my legs or butt. I have a very good relationship with my mother and i can tell her almost everything but I cant say the same about my dad. We just don’t get along. My parents are having a few problems but I’ve learnt to live with it. I don’t have a boyfriend for some reason - they seem to like the way I look but they don’t ask me out. They whistle at me while I’m down the street but they never ask me out.

Anonymous 13 VIC
I am pretty happy with my body, my relationships with family and friends. I am very confident to speak to my parents about anything (mainly mum). I feel that way because mum and I always said that we can talk to each other about anything from the very start.

Anonymous 13 WA
I don’t really get along with my parents, because they restrict me so much from going out. i get sick of it and tell them how I feel and then I just get banned from the computer or something else for a month. I’ve tried talking to my best friend about it, but she doesn’t have that problem so doesn’t understand it. My other friends have restrictive parents but they sneak out. I would do that, but if my parents found out about what I had done, they said I would get heavily punished. They keep saying that if I keep going out now then I wont have anything to look forward to, but they cant see my point of view. I am really sick of not being allowed to go out with my friends and I don’t know what to do about it.

Amy 17 NSW
Being a 17 year old girl and being overweight are 2 really hard things. I am getting so much pressure at the moment from my parents (mum in particular) to lose weight for my year 12 formal. I have tried so many diets and exercises but I just can’t seem to get out of this rut I’m in. All I want is to be happy and healthy, not skinny. It seems that only my mum cares about my outside and not my insides, i want to be happy on the inside because if I’m not I cant be happy on the outside.

Katie 14 QLD
After being bullied when I was younger, I feel really good about myself. I've matured, I have more confidence and I love hanging out with my friends and spending time with my brothers and my mum. After a family tragedy when I was 12, I now know what I want out of life and what I want to achieve/become, I respect myself a whole lot more and have higher morals. And I know that boys aren't everything in life - you can have them in life if you want to and they're always good for looking at.

Anonymous 16 QLD
I absolutely hate the fact that my parents are so tight. All my other mates can go out at night, drink, do what ever they want, but my parents aren’t like that. They think I’ve only gotten drunk twice with them (as if) and that when I go over my mates place we stay home and watch dvd's (once again as if). I don’t know how to tell them I want to do these things. It bloody annoys me for the reason that I’m in year 12 and cant do anything!!!!!

Anonymous 13
I can't talk to anyone about anything. I have deep, dark secrets, that no one knows about. I have just left my old school, and I start a new one tomorrow. I hope I will find friends who will appreciate me for who I am. My family, especially my mum, would often tell me I was fat and needed to lose weight. My brothers soon caught on and would always tease me. I have now grown a lot taller and have almost lost all of my excess stomach fat. Some people even say I have a nice figure. But their compliments just pass by me. Because my family teased me in the past, I don't think I will ever be confident about my weight again.

Anonymous 13 VIC
I feel that my family puts a lot of pressure on me to lose weight. I am quite happy with the way I look but I get called names at home particularly by my Dad who says I've got fat legs and a huge belly. My sister doesn't really help either. She is three years older than me and she is much prettier than me. She is always pointing out how fat I am compared to her and it makes me feel really unimportant and insignificant. I am trying to lose weight at the moment but I am feeling really down and upset because I know that all I am doing is trying to change myself for other people. It makes me feel annoyed that my family can't accept me for my other qualities besides my appearance.

Bahareh 14 SA
Hey everyone, I feel confident about my looks! But I’m really concerned bout my weight. I only weigh 60kgs and my family every day/night when I’m about to have dinner they bring up the topic about me being fat! They say I need to go on a diet and I’ve tried and lost a few kilos but now I’ve stopped because I couldn’t take it anymore. I don’t have breakfast and don’t have anything at school until I come home and have my dinner/lunch all in 1. I feel very hungry at school but I just don’t eat!

Anonymous 11 QLD
I feel like I have to do everything that I can to change my weight but all my friends say I am not fat and my mum said that I am not fat. Well my mum and dad divorced when I was little and I thought it was my fault all the time but now I realise that it is just the way of life but I really stress over that all the time and on Fathers day I get the most stressed cause my friends are always talking about what they got their dad and I cant say anything.

Anonymous 16 ACT
I feel pretty good about my looks- i mean, i might not be the prettiest girl ever- but hey that’s what makes me unique :). The way you look isn't the most important thing- as long as u have ur friends and family with you, ur rocking :)